


I Hope This Email Finds You Well

by Fuzzy_Mat



Category: Half-Life
Genre: Angst, Drunk Character, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, barney calhoun angst, barney calhoun centric, barney doesn't know if gordon is dead, email fic, he's drunk for one email, mayhaps a bit of eli/isaac but idk I just work here, talk of traumatic events, the other 3 are more of mentioned but they are talked about, unknown character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26065390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuzzy_Mat/pseuds/Fuzzy_Mat
Summary: Barney knew these emails were pointless. The internet shut down soon after the 7 hour war. Gordon was.. gone.. anyways. There was literally and figuratively no where for them to go… Yet he still sits and continues to write despite it all.
Relationships: Barney Calhoun/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 12
Kudos: 76





	I Hope This Email Finds You Well

**Author's Note:**

> OG note(s): This is freehoun but double sad. The idea of Barney writing out emails to Gordon throughout the years just really stuck in my mind despite it being super impractical idk why but here-a we go (same I just write in one go, hardly edit and call it a day) (The emails are undated on purpose so you can wonder the times they occurred and I’m lazy) 
> 
> Also: I’m not gonna focus on what slang does and doesn’t exist yet nor the logicality of any of this I’m just gay and being sad okay
> 
> Also Also: This is long as heck just so you know, All attachments are to the previous email (attachment after barney is the same email, emails change with the to: gfreeman…)
> 
> I posted this [originally](https://fuzzynat.tumblr.com/post/627252644022566912/i-hope-this-email-finds-you-well) on August 23rd, 2020; I'm reuploading it here because Tumblr's tagging system gives me a headache and I like attention; Overall not altered from the original except for some parts due to html
> 
> Tell me if any tags need to be added as usual (teen rating is for cursing)

> To: gfreeman@/blackmesa.com
> 
> From: bcalhoun@/blackmesa.com
> 
> Subject: Where are you ?

Hey,

I know I saw you get knocked out and dragged by those boot boys earlier but where are you ? I got back to the surface a bit after I saw you and you seemed to have been trucking along pretty okay prior to that whole event. You wouldn’t let a couple boot boys knock ya down would ya, Doc ? Anyways, Get back to me when you can I guess, things are really strange even up here on the surface and I wanna make sure you’re doin alright.

Yours truly,

Barney

> To: gfreeman@/blackmesa.com
> 
> From: bcalhoun@/blackmesa.com
> 
> Subject: Things are fucked

Hey again,

I know it hasn’t been long since my last email but things are really fucky around here. I’m really hoping you’re still just trekking back up here or taking a nap.. actually scratch that, a nap right now is a really bad idea. Please get to address i’m sending you now like as fast as possible. Soemthing is going down and I would feel more comfrtable knowing you were safe.Gotta go and get to tht adress myself. See ya thre.

Urs trly and full of wory,

B

_{See Attachment: “Safe_Spot_Location.jpg”}_

> To: gfreeman@/blackmesa.com
> 
> From: bcalhoun@/blackmesa.com
> 
> Subject: URGENT PLEASE RESPOND SOON !!!

Hey Gordon,

You haven’t been responding to my emails.. are you even looking at these actually ??? Or are you busy being freaked out by the fact that there’s a whole ass alien race (species ?) INVADING us right now ???? I know I said I wanted aliens to be real really badly but this is pretty ridiculous don’t you think haha ! Supposedly the military got deployed not too long ago but it’s lookin bleak. I’m already at the safe spot with Eli, Alyx, Kleiner and a couple other scientists who barely made it out. I haven’t heard back from you and you aren’t here so.. I’m getting really worried about where you’re at. Please get here soon, I still owe you that beer after all, it’d be quite a shame to miss it now ! 

Yours truly,

Barney

_{See Attachment: “Safe_Spot_Location.jpg”}_

> To: gfreeman@/blackmesa.com
> 
> From: bcalhoun@/blackmesa.com
> 
> Subject: I’m bout to commit murder

Hey Doc,

So as I thought… the boot boys didn’t last long. Been about what ? 7 hours ? I know pretty pitiful haha.. I’m not sure if you’re near a screen with some news on it but did you hear what that slimy weasel Breen did ?!? That man just surrendered all of humanity without a blink of hesitation ! The nerves of this man ! I swear if I ever see him again I’ll really give him a good ol’ knuckle sandwich ! I’m not sure what this is going to mean though.. Not to alarm ya, Gordon but I’m getting kinda worried. I know. Me ? Worried. Really funny prank. But lots of cities got pretty wiped out from attacks and me and the others here have been hearing strange noises outside. Might be a while until my next email which I’m sure you’ve definitely been reading and not just.. ignoring this whole time. It’s cool. Just stay safe out there, Gordon. I mean it.

Catch ya on the flip-side I guess,

Barney

_{See Attachment: “Barney_and_Gordon_prty07.jpg”}_

> To: gfreeman@/blackmesa.com
> 
> From: bcalhoun@/blackmesa.com
> 
> Subject: It’s been a while

Hey Gordon,

It’s been a long while since my last email like I thought it’d be oops. I’m not even sure why I’m writing this right now actually… internet died pretty soon after the war since there wasn’t really.. anyone to manage it or something ? I’m no tech geek despite what everyone at BM thought. And it’s not like you’re.. around.. anymore. Maybe I just need to get my thoughts out to process this like my therapist used to say. Anyways, things are pretty different now ! Me and the others managed to stick together through sheer spite and we’re now holding up in some city named City 17 (creative I know). Stuff is still being set up around here and by that I mean security cameras and stations out the wazoo ! Pretty creepy these Combine fellas are I gotta say. Can’t say much.. it’s been noted on my record that I used to be a security guard and just like ya said in 07, I’m regretting that decision now ! I think they’re going to try and recruit me in, not sure yet. Either way we’re still just trying to get set up and survive for now.

Yours truly and missing you,

Barney

_{See Attachment: “Home_Sweet_CombineHome.jpg”, “Stellar_Window_View.jpg”}_

> To: gfreeman@/blackmesa.com
> 
> From: bcalhoun@/blackmesa.com
> 
> Subject: Missing you

Hey,

We’ve been getting a good set up started over here ! Kleiner managed to find a warehouse out in the ruins of the city (we’re somewhere in Russia I think) that’s pretty far from the Combine eyes which is really cool. Something weird happened though in that we found your HEV suit in there all nice and covered in alien blood ! Now how did that eyesore get all the way out here ? Pretty weird I know ! Kleiner took it upon himself to fix the ol’ girl up as a lil side project for himself. Speaking of side projects, I’ve been tinkering with one myself. Seems like those Combine guys are gonna recruit me after all but there’s something wrong about those soldiers. I know they gotta be human at some point under there but it seems they’ve been “worked” on. Well they ain’t gonna give me the slip and cut my limbs off for weird cyborg nonsense so I’ve been developing my own tech to sneak me by. Their masks are pretty weird but so far it’s been the easiest one to mess with to help me seem like all the other boots. Gonna really sell it just you wait and see ! Only worried in that these boots have a tendencies to.. get a bit rough with the citizens.. been boilin my blood seeing them.. I’m not gonna get into it. You always were a bit squeamish with blood and stuff weren’t you ? Either way, make like your nerd suit and make it over here. Been lonely without you talking my ear off !

Yours truly,

Barney

_{See Attachment: “Combine_Mask_Undone.jpg”, “HEV_Suit_Weird.jpg”}_

> To: gfreeman@/blackmesa.com
> 
> From: bcalhoun@/blackmesa.com
> 
> Subject: Life Update

Hey Doc,

I hit the mark right on the donkey as you’d say. Can’t say the invitation was particularly.. friendly.. but man am I really regretting taking that security job back then. Some would say though that had it not been for that job I wouldn’t have ever met ya so I’ll tough this one out too just for you. I’m not gonna lie, gordon. It’s been tough. The security and surveillance around here is only getting stricter as time passes. Our hideout out in the ruins seems to be safe for now but there’s curfews and electrical power fences and random search times. I’ve been part of a few random frisks recently myself.. I gotta play nice especially since I’m new to the force and I’ve seen what the up top do to the freshies (and everyone really) that don’t comply to the rules; doc, it ain’t pretty. I hate it a lot. Seeing those people scream and beg.. it’s quite the fucked up thing to see and hear at 7 in the morning. I was never quite a morning person after all. That was a bad joke.. just trying whatever I can to get my mind off it. You’d know how it is.

Yours truly,

Barney 

p.s. - Alyx’s 9th birthday just passed; she’s getting quite big ! Soon I won’t be able to carry her around like we used to

_{See Attachment: “Alyx_Party_2.jpg”, “Eli_And_Alyx_BlowingCandls.jpg”}_

> To: gfreeman@/blackmesa.com
> 
> From: bcalhoun@/blackmesa.com
> 
> Subject: The Resistance

Hey,

Who knew being a boot boy took up so much time ! They’ve been really rotating my shifts wherever they can so it feels like I haven’t take a rest in a good 3 years ! I can already imagine your face right now storming up to our “overlords” and demanding I get a break with how much they’ve got me working. It’s not easy work either; it never got easier if I’m honest. But ! But ! Kleiner has been talking with Eli recently and since they got back into working on that teleportation project y’all were working on before this mess; they think they might know a way to “fix” this whole mess and get the Combine outta here ! Quite the exciting stuff ! Only downside is I’m now officially an unofficial spy for the unofficial “Resistance”; the name is quite boring in my opinion but eh I was never great at naming things myself. It’s going to be dangerous but that’s never stopped us before. They’re already looking into other places we can set up that are away from prying eyes. I don’t know much given my unique position but I’m most certainly trying to help from my end where I can even if I haven’t slept in 3 days already.

Yours truly and sleepily, 

Barney

_{See Attachment: “teleporation_plant_failuretest2.jpg”}_

> To: gfreeman@/blackmesa.com
> 
> From: bcalhoun@/blackmesa.com
> 
> Subject: Long Time No See

Hey Gordon,

Time flies when you’re having fun ! If by fun, I mean consistent nonstop stress that has given me a hand full of premature grey hairs and probably trauma for eternity that is. It’s not all bad news this time I swear ! In fact, I thought this time I’d share what everyone’s been up to so far. Eli and Izzy have been working up a storm in their respective offices and I even saw that Izzy managed to finally get his small teleporter working (I can already see your excited face lighting up just at the prospect of a real working teleporter; you’d be signing a mile a minute too I bet). Of course the two greatest minds (and magnusson I guess) would figure out teleportation in the apocalypse. Oh ! Alyx has been growing up quite fine too ! She’s gotten into electronics recently and now we’re having to lock up our spare tech to make sure they don’t “mysteriously” go missing. I’m not surprised given she helps out her dad and uncle Izzy (maybe 2nd dad at this point) all the time since they try and keep her away from the city. Her 13th birthday is already coming up and man don’t I just feel old. You’d be really proud of her I think, Gordon. I know you were always quite awkward when we babysat her so long ago but she’s really turning out to be quite the lady in my eyes. You got a lotta years to make up for when you get back. 

Yours truly,

Barney

p.s. - there’s these new aliens, Vortigaunts, that have been helping us out lately; they’ve been talking about how you’ll be coming back pretty soon (lets hope they’re right)

_{See Attachment: “Alyx_PotatoGun.jpg”, “Izzy_Eli_Cactus_Transportation_Test76.jpg”, “You’re_Not_Going_To_Believe_This_Scully.jpg”}_

> To: gfreeman@/blackmesa.com
> 
> From: bcalhoun@/blackmesa.com
> 
> Subject: whecre arne you ?

hey groodn,

wyh did you le?vae whcy didnt’ yyou say goodbmye all those years argo? i knoow the vorti.. vorti whatrseve said you didn’t dhave ohcitce but.s.. nwhy dyid you leuvae eme? was i jnust not egonhu? i know i can be ha beit much sometimes especially wthi my alien hobbyy thfing and i’m too loud and joke todo much and never toobk anything seriously atnd am the literal worst most of the time but yi love kyou gordon. i was such a zcoward for not saying ti then sno many years rago. arnd enow you hda to rgo on and disappear on me manybe because i never maned ufp and rtold you how i felt. you probably don’t yeven wadnt me anymore after alcl tehse years. ic’m jsupt an old man now, can’t sleep ha gdoo night, my back isn’t aonywhere what it used to be. why womuld you evxen want me still afret all this tigme? txhe alien dudes slay you’ll be tihe same anyqays. i clove yoou, gordonc. i’m so fcukin sogrry for everything i did all sthoe years ago. u

love,  
barney

_Would you Like To Delete The Previous Email ?_

_Y/N_

…

_**Y** _

> To: gfreeman@/blackmesa.com
> 
> From: bcalhoun@/blackmesa.com
> 
> Subject: See You Soon

Hey Doc,

It seems your 20 year nap is almost up ! Man, I would kill for a 20 year nap about now; maybe I really am getting old haha. You better not start sprinting the heck out of dodge when you get here, my left leg is barely hanging by the screw put in it a while back ! Been a long time coming, we all miss you, Doc. I’ll talk more and catch you up when you’re actually here; I need to retell my dashing tales with that beer I promised to get you all those years back. I guess this is my last email from this old dusty tower… I’m gonna miss it honestly. But I’m getting the real deal soon enough so I won’t let any tears fall for it.

Yours truly and forever,

Barney

p.s. - Kleiner got a bit lonely and got a pest- I mean pet headcrab while you were away… don’t trust her.

_{See Attachment: “Gordon_And_Barney_Picnic09.jpg”}_

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is [fuzzynat](https://fuzzynat.tumblr.com)  
> This was the freehoun fic I was talking the other day; decided to just sit down and plow through the rest of it uwu  
> This is an html nightmare why did I do this to myself


End file.
